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Sunday, June 28, 2009

Are you out and/or proud in the Napa Valley?

In another--hopefully not futile--attempt to get a conversation going (I know you all prefer to be lurkers, and I've forgiven you up 'til now), I'd like to ask a question and see where it goes. Answer freely via the comments to any of the questions that might inspire you. Don't forget there's an option to answer anonymously:

Are you LGBT or questioning and out in Napa? With friends? Family? Work? Since "coming out" is an ongoing process (at least in my experience), how do you choose when or who you come out to? Does it make a difference to how you feel if you were born here or grew up here or came here later in life? For you, is being queer something to be proud of?

Are you an ally or friend of someone who is LGBT or questioning? How do you choose when to speak up and/or support? When are times you remain silent?

Is it all just no big deal?


  1. Hey everyone,

    I am an 18 year old gay guy in Calistoga who just graduated from Calistoga High School (Class of 2009!) and is going to attend UC Berkeley this fall.

    I've come out with my entire family, my friends, and today I came out at work (thanks to all of that pride gear I gathered at SF Pride. When I came out I tried to do it all at once in terms of groups. I told all my friends at once. Then all of my family at once. I told everyone who I deemed it crucial that I tell personally and then basically let the grapevine take it from there. Being gay is something I am extremely proud of.

    When LGBT issues come up I always have something to say because I am always thinking about the issues, and how to address them when they come up in conversation. In that respect it is really easy to speak on important issues. The only time I remain silent is if speaking up in support will get the person I aimed to support hurt physically or myself. If that person is in danger of physical harm of course I would speak up for them. It's really kind of a common sense thing to me.

    I wrote this whole note about the coming out process on my facebook profile. if you want that bit.

  2. I'm an ally with many LGBT friends, but nearly all of them live elsewhere. I've never not spoken up out of fear of retribution or confrontation, but in my daily life there's rarely an opportunity or need to say anything on the subject.

  3. Hey I think this a very cool forum so i wanted to put my 2 cents in. Coming out to friends, family, work and the world was def a scary thought for me when i was younger but right when i turned 18 i realized that i wanted to start my adult life as out and proud of who I am. I told my mom right before i moved to LA lol nice timing right. but i told her i love her and if she couldn't accept me as who I am thats her decision and that decision could lose our relationship. she started crying saying i must be crazy to think that this would affect our relationship in anyway. lol she was really cool. My friends were so amazing and supportive and my work is awesome about it. I'm now 21 loving my life i manage Sift Cupcakery in Downtown Napa, I go to Gar bars out and proud, try and involve myself in the gay community as much as possible. and try and make new friends in the LGBT community. I love the LGBT community and love chatting with everyone.