Recently some women from the near-Greek island of Lesbos sued to stop the rest of the world from using the word lesbian to refer to gay women.[The suit claimed, on behalf of the residents of lesbos that]...when other women call themselves "lesbians," it is "a rape of our historic identity and our human rights." And "we have been called lesbians for thousands of years."In the end, the court decided not to grant the (islander) lesbians their suit.
"This is a good decision for lesbians everywhere," said Vassilis Chirdaris, lawyer for the Gay and Lesbian Union of Greece. "A court in Athens could not stop people around the world from using it. It was ridiculous." [Good]It seems that not only is this a setback for the resident lesbos islanders, but also for the folks over at gayelle.org, trying to promote an alternative (and copyrighted?) word for gay women:
gayelle (gā-L) noun. A member of a group and or movement of gay - females who prefer to be called Gayelle rather than lesbian.Sounds kinda zoological to me.
Does it matter to you the word you use--or that others use--to identify your sexuality?
Clever and topical illustration (c) 2008 SlapUpsidetheHead.com. Used with permission.
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I got the email/comment regarding this post, and then the subsequent request to delete it (due to request for anonymity). I handled it. Please repost anonymously! ;) (You know who you are!)
ReplyDeleteI refer to myself as a lesbian, not a "gay." Not only have men co-opted the generic term "gay", but most women I know wish to distinguish themselves as women-centric women, rather than being a minority part of a sexual minority.
ReplyDeletePlus, I don't feel I have all that much in common with gay men except that society lumps us together as "homosexuals," and we all have certain experiences in common like having to come out or being subject to homophobia.
There is a certain irony in having some great gay friends, while feeling marginilized by the stereotypical gay male culture which seems misogynist, materialistic and overly focused on shallow values like looks-ism. My authentic experiences with my friends reassure me, while my exposure to gay male culture at pride events and walking the Castro makes me uncomfortable.
At this summer's pride event in Montana, I was really put off by a group of male drag lip-synchers: the between song patter made fun of lesbians (cruelly) while these guys were dolled up in dresses, heels, and full make-up. What???? It was definitely a cognitive disconnect.
It didn't help when one of the performers went into the audience and mimicked face fucking a young man in the crowd. This took place Saturday afternoon in a public park with all kinds of people and children present! I suspect that until gay men get their 'act' together and keep intimations of their sexual lives private, there will be reactive homophobia to inappropriate public expressions of sexual activities.
Heck! I hate seeing straight people mimic sexual acts in public too, and still can't get over seeing Michael Jackson rub his crotch suggestively at that infamous Super Bowl halftime show so many years ago. I'm not a crochety old prude, just a women who feels that sexual relationships are best carried out in an intimate and private setting. (Perhaps another typical difference between lesbians and gay men?)
So, I'm proud to be a lesbian and happy with who I am as a person, and don't want to dilute my sexual identity by pooling it with gay males, a culture I don't feel very close to.
I'm so glad you posted! ;) I hope others get involved in this topic, too. I'm busy packing for my vacation, but did want to put this question out there: in terms of building community, is it then divisive to be referring to gay places or a gay guide to Napa? I want to be inclusive and accurate--but also concise, easy to access and easy to find via search. I just don't know what to say anymore when referring to "our community". Gay? Queer? LGBT? All of the above?
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