When I knew...

I had seen the book from time to time in different stores, and the first couple of times I didn't want to look at it too long for fear it would give me away (I know, how amateur of me), in spite of how curious I was about it. It's cute little boy smiling proudly with pink neck tie... Would I relate? When I saw it on sale at Copperfield's in Bel Aire Plaza, I had to pick it up. It's funny, it's poignant, it's intelligent, it's sweet, it's sad...and it reminds me of me in so many ways. Some entries are short and to the point, or stereotypical: "When I was six, my mother said to me, 'Wait right here, I think I have something you'd be interested in.' She went into the other room and came back with a pink feather boa." Some take the reader on a journey. I am really enjoying it, and think you might, too.

Here is a longer sample, from the last pages in the book:

I knew WHEN I saw the first kid get beaten up at school. WHEN I feared for Bambi's mother. WHEN Miss Gulch morphed nto the cackling Wicked Witch of the West inside the twister. WHEN my babysitter Lori came over and put on the album Goodbye Yellow Brick Road and I heard the first notes of "Bennie and the Jets." WHEN I lay awake in my bed in the dark late on Sunday nights listening to Dr. Ruth talk about erections and premature ejaculation. WHEN the boy from down the street came to mow the front lawn and finished in a cloud of hairy legs, sweat, and green grass clippings. WHEN at twelve I was mortified about approaching the counter at 7-Eleven to make my purchase: a Gentleman's Quarterly. WHEN I opened that magazine and saw
Andy Towle

Calvin Klein's first underwear ad, the bronzed god leaning back against a white pillar and azure sky. WHEN I saw Matt Dillon "do it for Johnny" in The Outsiders. WHEN I got my first spread-eagle glimpse of Penthouse...and felt nothing. WHEN I crashed riding my ten-speed down Keystone Avenue because I was distracted singing, "The hills are alive with the sound of music..." WHEN a schoolmate spray-painted a jagged message on a town train overpass calling me a faggot and I snuck out in the middle of the night to paint over it so my parents wouldn't see it. WHEN Olivia Newton-John showed up in skin-tight leather at the carnival. WHEN the local bullies washed my face out with snow. WHEN I finally had sex with my high-school girlfriend to convince myself that "this was just a phase." WHEN he turned and kissed me on the hill behind campus and I felt his stubble on my face and it was like an anthem from the future singing yes, finally, finally you will know what it is to feel LOVE.

From "When I Knew", edited by Robert Trachtenberg.

When did you know?