When the ruling overturning the same-sex marriage ban first was announced, I posted about it and was excited, but I don't think I got the full scope of what this meant.
Then Ellen announced she was getting married (congrats!) and I started to get more excited about the possibilities (I dunno what it was about Ellen...maybe just having a day for the news to sink in made it more exciting).
Then I started seeing ads for gay weddings (I knew it!) and I was picturing them happening at some of Napa's most fabulous locations (I want an invite if any of The Fruit's readers are considering).
Then I heard that already conservatives are trying to put a hold on the change until the election in November, where a constitutional amendment is being proposed to define marriage as only between one man and one woman.
Conservatives are frightened (I still think they only get worried because they start picturing the SEX instead of thinking of the relationship. Everyone knows that once you get married you rarely have sex anyways. They have nothing to worry about.) and claim that gay marriage will weaken--if not utterly destroy--straight marriages (and some even go so far as to say our entire society).
Long-term and loyal readers of The Valley's Other Fruit probably know that I started coming out to my closest friends and family about 3 years ago...and that it's a process that doesn't really stop. Now that this marriage thing is probably heading for a vote in November (opponents submitted 1.1 million signatures), I am thinking if I should hurry up and come out to people that I had been holding out on for whatever reason.
If I come out to my aunts and uncles and more conservative (could I even say stubbornly closed-minded without offending?) relatives and friends would it make a difference? Would they then, think of me lovingly and of how I showed them that not all gays are "like how they thought they were" and how if they vote yes then I would be stuck (legally) single? Or would it embolden them to "fear for my soul" even more or picture me having some hedonistic pleasure-fest of a wedding ceremony with groomsmen in leather chaps and large drag-queens as maids of honor and then vote to support the constitutional change (and save our family from such a scary--sounds fun to me--nuptial disaster)? It's a risk...is it worth taking it?
Would coming out to people that we are close to help them to support same-sex marriage?
Friday, May 16, 2008
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I've only talked to one of my immediate family members about gay marriage. At the time (a few months ago) they were against it, but for domestic partnerships. I for one want to get married, legit, and raise a family someday, so the word marriage is a little bit important to me.
ReplyDeleteBut I think there's a difference between being passive about giving someone their rights, and actively voting to strip them of their rights.
I've got some family members who I'm already out to that might vote against my right to marry. But hopefully I'll be able to speak my piece and let them know how important it is to me.
When it comes to coming out to new people... I guess we'll just see. I definitely think the more communication the better though.