Self-planning wedding planner

This morning I am imagining the Chronicle's staff waking up tired and hungover from the slew of same-sex weddings and celebrations they covered last night (or maybe I'm the only one that's a bit groggy). Well, somehow they got enough energy to keep on writing, and now that the "big rush" has (relatively) calmed down, they are talking about wedding planning for same-sex marriages--something that we gays haven't really had to(sorry...legally been allowed to) worry about yet (at least for our own weddings, right?). Our friend over at Bay Area Bites, Michael Procopio, had some amusing words on the "dilemma" of wedding planning for same-sex marriages (I don't think I've ever read the actual words on his blog, but I get the feeling Mr. Procopio is also family)...

What on earth does one feed a banquet hall full of homosexuals?...Have you ever baked a birthday cake for a gay man’s birthday party, only to find thirty or so other gay men moaning about carbohydrates, telling you that while the dessert you’ve just put your heart and soul into looks great, they’ll just have to pass on it, while patting their stomach? Well, I have, and what I have since learned is this: Guzzling vodka = good carbs, eating a tiny sliver of polenta cake= It-will-make-me-fat-and-then-no-one-will-love me-or-think-I’m-hot bad.

No, cake is out of the question. Perhaps a wedding protein shake would be more fitting. Of course, there’s the problem of slicing.

How does one approach a gay reception? For one couple I know, I imagine there would be a chilled Ketel One fountain splashing about. Would others prefer a Teddy Bear Picnic motif? I think the traditional menus might need a going over. Instead of fish or chicken, the invitations should request a preference for either no-carb or sauce on the side.

And what on earth do you feed a roomful of lesbians? There is only so much quinoa to be had in any given season, you know.

So any gay-wedding planning tips to pass on? Most romantic/gay-friendly spot in the Valley? Best gay-friendly caterer? Photographer? Wow, we better get our act together and start making recommendations.